sniff sniff..... tissue please

Do you ever just open up your eyes real wide and suddenly have clarity? You realize where exactly you are in life or how old your kids are. You see clearly, not fogged by the everyday hussel and bussel of life. Well this happened to me yesterday. We had another first in the Crozon house. Jack went from tricycle to bike with training wheels last night. My Jack. My baby. Who took 24 hours of labouring to finally come into this world leaving my body broken but my heart healed. That Jack. The little boy who just started really talking 6 months ago and learned how to use the potty at the same time. How is he growing up so fast? Right under my eyes and my eyes are always on him. I am always with him. Yet he's still sprouting up without me noticing. Then it hit me. He's 3. 3. That means he's over half way to being 6, and then he'll be in school full time and my hours are limited. He probably won't even want to hang out with me. Sniff sniff..... I thought I had an 'eternity' at home with them because frankly some days feel like they last that long. I love firsts and have been lucky to catch all the firsts with both my boys. How blessed am I? But while I was running beside him trying to get a picture of him pedalling hard on this big boy bike, I couldn't help but fight off my tears.

Tears of pride, and tears of sadness.

Self Conscious Exterior

      Our exterior renovations are under-way and I couldn't be more thrilled. I have been self conscious about the exterior of our home since we bought it 5 years ago. I know, I know, it's what's in the inside that counts and I firmly believe that but..... I have wanted an exterior to be proud of. I think everyone that has ever been in our house has always been shocked because the outside does not match the inside. My house is "Shallow Hal" in a nutshell. The fact that it's long and not very wide doesn't help it's aesthetics either. We have just about 1500 sq ft on each level but it looks about 900. I kind of enjoy the surprise though when you get in.  
    So Step 1- patio doors are in our master now. There is still lots of work left as all the finishing is, well, unfinished. Step 2... who knows. 
     So are we going to survive the renovations? I already started crying once today with overwhelming feelings of saw dust, dry wall, crying kids, can't go outside because there are nails in the grass, having a 'stranger' living with us (hired help) who eats about the equivalence of 3 men (hence I'm always in the kitchen), stressed out and irritable husband because things are taking longer than expected- renovation trouble. We've all been there. Heck, we've been here before PLENTY of times since we have gutted this house.
   And Kelly wants to build a house next. HA! Over my exhausted body :)

 

Fifty Shades.....

So I bought that book. Fifty Shades of Grey.
Everyone is talking about it and says I have to read it so when I was in Costco last week for only $9.99 I knew I just had to buy it and check it out. All I can say is WOW.
First couple chapters were really good, getting into the characters, well written- my type of book. Then the "fifty shades of grey" start and as I continue reading it, while I have two children in their rooms sleeping, I can't help but feel like maybe I should put it down. How can this book be openly bought at Costco???? I'll admit it's well written and does get you into but you can't read it and not feel like you need a bath after.

So Fifty Shades of Grey. More like 'Fifty Shades of Red' to it's readers.  Just like the "quote" says. There will be a definite baby boom called the Fifty Shades of Grey and Magic Mike boom. Now let's see if I can get the courage to read the rest it :)

How would Charlie be different?

Yesterday afternoon I got the privilege to just hang out with Charlie for the afternoon while his brother was 'helping' at the building, moving tractors and then taking a semi ride out to the farm. You can just about imagine how excited my 3 year old was to hang out with daddy, grandma, and grandpa while they worked hard to get the building ready for possession on Sunday.

So the afternoon was just Charlie and I and we haven't done that since he was just a young baby. It was great. We went shopping where Mom bought a new Matt & Nat, then to the grocery store, and then home where we played in the backyard. It was so good to just get one on one time and I saw a whole new side to this sweet, docile (yet quick tempered) little boy I've got.

It got me thinking. If Charlie was the first child, how would he be different?

At the grocery store I usually have both and Jack demands all the attention. It's the type of kid he is and always has been. He talks to every person that passes, yells "hello" down the aisle to people we don't pass; basically starts up a conversation with every person in the store. He LOVES the grocery store! He's a social little guy and the grocery store is the perfect outing. Especially now that he gets to push his own cart- WOW, fun stuff. Charlie usually sits back, doesn't crack a smile, and gives everyone the stink eye while his brother is hamming it up. I chalked it up to being either shy or more cautious.

Well not yesterday! Charlie was front and center getting all the attention for the older ladies who were cooing and caaing at him. He was playing it up too, smiling back, giggling, just thoroughly enjoying all this much due attention. A side I have never seen.

Which brings me back to my original question; How would he be different? Would he be different? After yesterday, I can confidently say that Jack does steal a little of Charlie's thunder. I realized that the things I promised when he was in my belly about spending quality time with each other separate must start now. I thought I had a little more time. I don't.

Charlie is his own special little person with a personality quite different than Jack and I think he needs time on his own sometimes to fully become who he is meant to be. Jack needs the same thing. Although the boys adore each other, and it was a great reunion when the afternoon was done (full of hours of playing well together) it was great to have time apart too.

Who will these little boys become? How are the things I am doing shaping their character? Do I actually have THAT much control?

This parenting thing is such a learning curve. I learn new things every day and I just hope that with all these 'lessons' that I am stumbling upon that I can quietly steer these two in the right direction. To become the men I dream about.

Dressing up is fun

Kelly and I went to a wedding this past weekend.

I had to frantically look for my lost black heel. Why do I do this to myself???? It always seems like before an event I have lost something that I had planned on wearing. I did manage to find it- on the shoe rack. To my defence; it was on the wrong shoe rack and who thinks to look on a shoe rack???  I looked in all the toys bins, under the beds, in all the closets, EVERYWHERE BUT THE SHOE RACK! Anyways, I found it and wore them- but realized that my feet must have grown in pregnancy because now they are tight and totally uncomfortable. Time to go shopping again ;)

I found my fabulous dress at a boutique here in Humboldt. I was so excited when I got to the register and realized it was 30% off! $49.00!!! Gotta love that.

But there is nothing more precious though than my son Jack. When I first tried on the dress for Jack and Kelly when I got home; Jack looked up at me and said..... "mommy, you're a princess!"

I guess he won't be getting a time-out today. Smart little guy ;)

Then, he decides to warm my heart AGAIN. After getting all dressed up, actually putting on make-up, and curling my hair for the wedding. I came out of the bathroom and he looks at his Grandpa (they were going to look after the kids while we enjoyed the wedding) and said....

"Mommy you are BEAUTIFUL!"
 Okay. There is nothing that makes you feel more beautiful than that.

Bug...eriffic!

So my little guy turned 3 yesterday. 3!!!! Time is flying by. This birthday was his first that he knew what was going on and was excited for. How fun it was to plan! We started thinking of ideas a few months prior and I made the mistake to talk it over with Jack about a month early. Well, he told everyone for about a month that "it's my birthday soon". It was a long month of anticipation. 

Originally it was going to be a Tonka party. Last year we had to cancel his large party with family because it didn't work out- this was after I had bought a bunch of supplies for that theme. So, being thrifty I saved everything, froze the candy associated with it and just hoped and prayed that Tonka Trucks were still cool another year later. When I asked Jack about his birthday cake, Tonka was okay but he wanted BUGS on it.  When I asked him what bugs he rattled off a list of bugs he wanted to see. He even made me write it down so I wouldn't forget! Wasps, bees, worms, frogs, ants, spiders... the list went on. Crap. So now how am I going to in-cooperate a Tonka theme and bug theme. How did I you ask? I didn't- I just did both! He's a boy right!

With help from my mother-in-law all day, we managed to make the bug food, clean the house, and decorate while he napped; all in time for his party at 4pm. I let Jack make the guest list and he invited only his closest friends (I guess that's all he needed). If it was up to me I could have added a WHOLE lot more people but I tried to remember that it was HIS birthday :) When Jack woke up from his nap and all the food was on the table and the decorations were up- it clued in that the party was going to start soon and he just started clapping and jumping up and down. Warms my heart.

Pinterest and google were definitely my friend planning this party. I'm not sure how prior parents planned parties without these two vital tools!

Outside decorations were minimal. I made a birthday balloon wreath and I have our letters with magnets and can interchange to whoever's birthday it is. I loved this idea when I saw it on pinterest and knew I had to recreate. It was a lot of work (I had to do it twice) but it was worth all the hours I put into it and I hope my kids will always remember having the wreath on the door for their birthday! Starting some traditions, very important in my books.

Helium balloons are always a must at our house!

The inside decorations weren't too busy either. I knew if it was nice that we would be spending most of our time outside anyways.

This didn't turn out like the picture I seen on pinterest (they had a much nicer fireplace) but it still contained the balloons so the babies didn't pop them!

These worm balloons greeted the party goers as they came. The kids grabbed them and started bonking each other on the head. They were fun!

While Jack was sleeping I hung balloons outside his door so when he woke up, he would know that the party was going to start. Again, pinterest. I fell in love with idea as well. I plan on doing this for every birthday- either 1st thing in the morning or when they are young after their nap. I would have loved waking up to this! I think this will make them feel just as special as they are.

The food was all bug themed. It took some imagination and googling but I figured something out! I was pleased how they turned out.

Caterpillar Kabobs- Green Grapes, Icing, Mini Chocolate Chips

Strawberry Ladybugs- Strawberries, Icing, Blueberries, Shoestring Candy, and Mini Chocolate Chips-
VERY TIME CONSUMING!

Grasshopper Chip Dip- Hallowed out Green Pepper, Green Onions, Icing and Blueberries

Bug Juice with Worm Icecubes- Super easy and the kids loved getting a Worm Ice-Cube

The apple wasn't to eat but I thought it was a cute idea!

The cake was a dirt worm cake in a Tonka Truck with fake bugs, candy sticks, Chocolate Rocks. Jack loved it! This was his expression when he first saw the cake. He thought it was beautiful!

Now that is one very excited 3 year old!

The treat bags took some thinking because I wanted to stick with my theme. The idea for bug viewers was perfect because I could fill them up with goodies to take home. The baby gifts were a little tougher but after I made all natural bug spray for my little guy- I figured that fit in nicely with my bug theme. Also, it was a nice useful gift for the mamma's.

There was more but we'll stop at that! I had a blast planning this boy's birthday and can't wait for the next ones! This mom thing; it sure is fun.

I found Jack sound asleep at 9pm with all his new toys on his bed and one of the worm balloons. He didn't even flinch when I took them off and tucked him in. He had a great birthday. Anything for my little guys!

Grapefruit

Grapefruit with a lb of sugar on it still healthy right????

I'm turning over a new 'leaf' and getting healthy. Or at least trying. We eat fairly good around here but there is definite room for improvement.

We cut out all fast food. Well maybe not ALL because we still get double double coffees when on the road.

We eat salad at every meal and have ever since I can remember. Can I help it if I have a craving for ceaser salad every night?

We don't snack at night. Except for last night. But Kelly was gone... and I only had a handful of hickory sticks which have to better for you than regular chips because they are so small.

I've cut out alcohol unless if it's really hot, or windy, or rainy or there is tornado watches.

We walk at night. The ice cream shop is close enough to get to by foot.

And last but not least, I have taken up eating grapefruit. My grandpa is 89 and going strong and I remember him eating grapefruit all the time. It's got to be the secret to a healthy long life. Now the lb of sugar is the grapefruit's fault. It shouldn't be so sour.

Daddy is gone

      So Kelly is away working for a couple days. The days leading up to his departure I always start to silently panic. How am I going to cope not having any adult conversation while he's gone? Uggg.... what if they get sick???? Then what if I get sick? (If you don't know me, I'm kind of a germ-a-phobe and hate the idea of getting ill). Long days with just me and the boys. 
      First day is always a little hairy. I try to jam that day with play-dates, activities- anything to keep us all busy and to forget that daddy is not home. 2nd day is usually awful. The kids have realized he is gone, they are now bored because yesterday was so fun and I'm getting tired. But the 3rd day; is usually bliss. Truth is, I'm a better mom when I can just focus on my kids. I'm not worried about making a large supper and we just have grilled cheese. Like yesterday when we were at a play-date until 5:30 and I never even thought twice about it. Supper is usually on the table by 5:45 and I start preparing at 4. No time for play-dates at that time! The boys usually get a long bath to draw out the evening; complete with bubbles and new toys and a good scrubbing. Book time starts early so I can unwind them really well so they sleep peacefully. Morning is no short of heaven; watching cartoons in mommy's bed (a treat!), laying around in our pj's until someone rings the doorbell (and I run as fast as I can to get on clothes). I need to learn how to be "that" mom when Kelly is home.
    I've learned to make the best. With his job, he's gone a lot of the summer and I just have to get used to it. I do get used to it. Then I have to get used to him being home. And I do get used to that. I'm constantly going back and forth. But that's all right. This is our life. This is our summer. And I've learned to look for the blessings in all aspects of life.